


Forget I Said Anything

by Sali_Mali



Series: Nick and the demon spawn [3]
Category: One Direction (Band), Radio 1 RPF
Genre: Humor, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-14
Updated: 2013-01-14
Packaged: 2017-11-25 12:21:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/638852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sali_Mali/pseuds/Sali_Mali
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ficlet: This is why Nick should never read the newspapers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forget I Said Anything

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lottiem](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lottiem/gifts).



> Just a little ficlet set in the same verse as my other mpregs. This one is just a little bit mean to Nick so I have one more fluffy ficlet to come. Coursework has started up again now, so I probably won't be writing again for a while.
> 
> For lottiem - I tried to involve the rest of the band a little bit, even if only through text :)
> 
> Disclaimer: Still all lies!

Ever since Nick’s life took on a distinctly Hollyoaks feel, the delivery of the morning newspapers to the breakfast show studio has become markedly less fun. In the wake of the story first hitting the headlines, Finchy had tried to ban them altogether, but that had lasted about as long as it took Nick to realise he was never ever going to win a game of Showquizness again. Of course, at the time he still hadn’t appreciated just _how_ big the news would be or for how long. It’s been nearly a month now and he’s still regularly making the front pages, or Harry is, and he’s learned to tell if it’s a particularly bad day from how many papers ‘go missing’ on their journey to the eighth floor. 

Someone’s fallen down on the job today though, because the Daily Mirror is just sitting there, tempting him, and he can already see that they’ve gone for a woefully unflattering photo of him in an oversize hoodie buying loo rolls and juxtaposed it with Harry chatting to an attractive fan at yesterday’s meet and greet. Naturally, Harry looks perfect and happy and _young_ , and Nick looks like a podgy 29 year old with terrible dress sense and an incontinence problem (which he doesn’t actually have, thank you, so they can stick their ‘loo’s sorry now? Grimmy discovers the downside of becoming a dad as Harry charms the fans’ caption). 

He sticks a jingle on for the Big Weekend and pulls out his phone to text Harry while no-one’s looking.

_Am I fat?_

It only takes about 30 seconds for his phone to light up with a reply and by then he’s managed to sneak the Daily Mirror off the pile and under his desk and put on some Rihanna. 

_Stop looking at the papers!! I love you xxx_

That’s easy for Harry to say, he’s ‘charming the fans’ and he can still do his coat up.

_That means you think I’m fat, Harold._

This time the reply takes longer to come through.

_You’re not fat, your pregnant, it’s allowed._

He texts back _*you’re_ just to be annoying, and then checks that Finchy’s busy and Fiona’s still on twitter before he flicks to the full spread on page four, reading the helpful op-ed on the things he still has to look forward to (constipation and incontinence apparently) while some popstar sings in his ear about taking it all the way with her man. Nick hopes she’s prepared to be personally victimised by the press for running out of toilet paper. 

He makes it another half a song before he breaks and texts Harry again.

_What about if I was incontinent?_

This time he gets all the way to the end of the article (all lies, obviously) through two more songs and some random chat about last night’s telly before he notices his phone has lit up with a string of text messages.

_Are you???_

_Is that meant to happen?_

_Louis says that’s normal, his mum had it when she was pregnant_

_Zayn said that happened with one of his sisters too_

_With his mum, not his sister, that would be weird_

_Not that i think it’s weird_

_I still love you xxx_

_Liam and Niall say hi :)_

Before Nick can do more than gape in horror, let alone hurl himself out of the eighth floor window (not that he even could, bloody BBC safety windows) his phone lights up once more with a message from ‘Louis off of One Direction.’

_Hhahahaha hahahahahahaha_

This is his life now. He is being mocked by Louis bloody Tomlinson for imaginary incontinence.  


It’s at that point that Ian arrives and immediately spots the newspaper Nick’s still hiding under the desk, leading to an undignified on-air tug of war as Nick tries to present the next link and hold on to his paper, and Ian does his best to wrestle it from his vice-like grip without broadcasting the fact to the nation.

It rips right across Nick’s forehead. Typical. Now he doesn't even have his hair.

“I was just looking!” Nick says, when he’s gone to the next song and Ian’s thrown the paper in the bin and tattled on him to Fincham. 

“Well don’t,” Finchy says, “You know they just upset you.”

“They don’t _upset me,_ ” Nick splutters, because he is actually a grown man. “That was one time, and I’d slept with my contacts in.” Even LMC drags herself away from tumblr to look at him then, eyebrows raised. Nick’s sure the team never used to be this hard and cynical. “What? I did! Anyway, I have hormones now. I cry at anything. I cry when we run out of milk - ask Harry.”

They fail to look convinced so Nick just makes a face at them and turns his attention back to his phone, tapping out an _I AM NOT INCONTINENT IT WAS HYPOTHETICAL_ to Harry before he comes rushing around from the recording studio with a packet of Tena Lady or something and provides another 3 weeks of front page headlines.

He gets a reply during the news.

_Ok (but just so you know i won’t mind if you are). I’ll pick you up after work xxx_

It’s a sad fact that ‘I’d even love you if you wet yourself’ still ranks as one of the more romantic things anyone has ever said to him. 

He gets a whole minute to enjoy it before Louis’s text arrives.

_Lol It’s only a matter of time, Grimshaw ;)_

The End


End file.
